Cold Remedy

Runny nose? Scratchy throat? Lazy ass?
Chicago's brutal winter got motherfuckers catching colds left-n-right and getting mad lazy.

Not to worry, Dr.Dieter's hot toddy family-recipe is here to the rescue. Guaranteed to knock the shit out of the cold, and get you drunk enough to hit those streets.

What you'll need:
* 1 Irish breakfast tea bag
* 1/2 glass of Maker's Mark (any whiskey, scotch, or bourbon)
* 1 heaping tablespoon honey
* Boiling water
* 1 slice lemon

Directions:
In a coffee mug, place the tea bag and honey. Add enough boiling water (fill it half way), add the lemon, top off the coffee mug with your booze, and steep for 5 minutes. Remove the tea bag, inhale the steam, and guzzle the Toddy.
Your gonna want to repeat this process until the desired effect has been achieved.

Friends, try and take care of yourself, this winter
It's tempting to try the latest remedy, but colds are unavoidable the best thing you can do is drink. Also remember to wash up after smashing, God knows who the person under was tap-tap-tapping earlier, they may have had a cold.