Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day - The gift of music

It has been said that "music cures the soul", however all things capable of delivering greatness are just as effective dispatching evil. Music is like all forms of art is bipolar. Here is my top ten Country songs dedicated to every ex-girlfriend I have. (Well except you Kristin, we can still make it work. Hit me up after the 14th.)

10.I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I Know She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4. Piss Up a Rope and Watch that Piss Dribble
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.
And the Number One Country & Western song is...
1. She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Legs


Heather S. said...

Nice. Are those real titles?

Nicky Dieter said...

Hahaa, no they're fake. Some I've made up, some I've stole from a joke. My favorite one I created is "1. She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Legs", Rethinking it I'd like to change it to "I'll break your heart and your legs".